The Gift that is Technology

When Maizie was born I had the intentions of limiting her television viewing, she certainly was not going to be on the computer or playing game boy. Oh....how things have changed. It became clear early on that Maizie had an interest in technology. She was drawn to Joe's laptop at the age of one. In the photo above Maizie was just three years old. She navigates and uses the computer better than many adults we know. Granted, Joe and I both have a great love for all things tech and teaching Maizie in these areas comes easily.

Considering her lack of communication through words, anxiety, vomiting, extreme bouts of frustration and inability to focus at an early age we were thrilled when we found something that Maizie enjoyed doing. For years she was not interested in toys or television. It was hard for her to focus on anything for even a few minutes. Even eating was a struggle. But computers were different for her. She had more control and recognized this. I remember her working at the computer for a minute or two and then standing up and twirling around before sitting down for another two minutes of hard work. She liked that she could move around and when she returned the screen would be the same. Television was too busy, too unpredictable and certainly too loud.

In time it became clear that even her favorite computer activities could not be enjoyed. Her aggression and inability to focus increased. I never thought in a million years that I would choose to give my child medications. Granted, I had no real previous exprerience in such matters so it was easy for me to say that. The decision was not made easily. Medications helped her focus and reduced her outbursts. Maizie said things like, "My brain quiet now." You could sense the relief wash over her. Medications have enabled Maizie to focus, to learn, to communicate and lessen the intense anxiety and sensory issues that have always plagued her. That is not saying that finding the right medications has been easy. Anything but.

I have heard some people say that technology is being used by parents as a babysitter or like a medication. A way for the child to zone out and for a time leave their behavioral issues behind. To some degree it is true. A child who senses everything more intensely than we can even imagine finds refuge in an online world that they can control and disappear into. Parents are given a break from their child's frequent obsessions, outbursts or aggression. For us technology was at times a life saver. A break for Maizie when pain and frustration would not ease up. A break for me...of course.

Recently technology has brought about a new surprise. Communication. Webkinz have brought Maizie out of her shell a bit more. Not only is she learning but she talks to her animals and tells us about them in great detail. Joe and I play Webkinz and send her Webkinz mail. She asks us questions about our animals and takes great joy in seeing us play with our furry pets. It has been a way for her to focus and work on two way communication.
Her little friends are also into technology. Chloe asks Maizie questions about her Game boy games and better yet, Maizie asks her questions. They share Webkinz stories and recently they have both fell in love with Bellasara. I watch them as they teach one another how to advance in the games. Maizie helps Chloe decipher the stories. This give and take is a huge leap forward for Maizie.

It is amazing to me that she is learning how to balance her time with her game boy, computer usage and music. I used to nag her to get off the computer and put strict limitations on her using them. Once I decided to let go of my obsessive need to control her time she stopped feeling my pressure and has regulated it herself. It helps that we have more time for her favorite activities. She does not come home from school frantic, exhausted and irritable. She can start the day relaxing with her favorite Webkinz and then move on to other activities. I like hearing the lap top slam shut and her saying, "Okay! I am going to work on something now." Yes! Balance is the key.

Maizie's blogging has slowed recently but I know she will be back at it soon. Today she was thrilled to find out that the actors in iCarly all write blogs. She read me a post and with a huge grin said, "I blog too! Just like them!" Yup, she sure does.

A Grandfather recently developed a browser for his grandson Zachary, who is Autistic. This is a fantastic idea. We have moved beyond needing a program like this but it is certainly a step forward in helping children with special needs enjoy the Internet. We are planning a camping trip and will have no access to technology. I was explaining this to Maizie today,"You know...we won't be able to play Webkinz or Bellasara or blog or anything." She stopped walking, looked at me and said, "It's okay mom. I know you can handle it."